FOUR DIVORCE PARADIGMS
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PLEASE NOTE: The chart below shows the various divorce processes that couples commonly use. These processes can be modified or combined to meet your needs.
Please feel free to reach out to any of our team members to better understand which approach may be best for your specific circumstances.
"Kitchen Table" Divorce | Mediation | Litigation | Collaborative Divorce |
---|---|---|---|
Spouses prepare and file paperwork on their own Highly recommended that each party have an attorney review the final documents |
Uses a neutral third-party to help the couple reach an agreement Parties may or may not be represented by attorneys Not binding Confidential Sometimes it does not resolve all of the issues |
Each party is represented by an attorney Whatever is not resolved in mediation is decided by a judge in court Most expensive option Only deals with legal issues; exacerbates emotional issues |
Team approach Both parties are represented by attorneys trained in the Collaborative Divorce process Seeks a win/win for the whole family Stays out of court Team can include: Coaches, Mental Health Professionals, Attorneys, Financial Specialists, Realtor, Appraiser, Mortgage Professional and Child Specialists |
Works Best when the Parties are: | Works Best when the Parties are: | Works Best when the Parties are: | Works Best when the Parties are: |
Agreeable Able to consider the best interests of the whole family Little to no assets Parties have similar incomes; no maintenance needed Able to resolve conflict well |
Agreeable Able to consider the best interests of the whole family Needing a third-party reality check Able to resolve conflict |
Adversarial and hostile Unwilling to compromise |
Open to full and honest disclosure Solution-oriented and forward-thinking Committed to reaching an agreement |
Pros: | Pros: | Pros: | Pros: |
Least expensive Fastest option |
Cheaper than litigation Minimizes damage of going to court Minimizes conflict Faster than litigation More discrete; mediation is private, litigation is public Gives parties control of the outcome |
The court’s timetable will keep things moving forward May be necessary if the other party is unreasonable May be necessary for cases where there are safety concerns, abuse, or drug/alcohol addiction |
Parties agree not to go to court Flexibility; customize the agreement to meet the needs of the whole family and considers long-term financial implications The team of neutral professionals makes this a comprehensive approach to divorce Addressing financial and emotional issues is built into the process Quicker and less expensive than litigation Facilitates post-divorce healing and recovery |
Cons: | Cons: | Cons: | Cons: |
Mistakes can easily be made Doesn’t address long-term financial consequences |
Outcome can be unfair to one spouse Mediator can be inexperienced or biased Can reinforce patterns and allow one party to dominate the other No guarantee that a settlement will be reached Issues can be overlooked; agreement may be incomplete |
Judge who knows very little about you and your family makes the final decisions Most expensive option and time-consuming Can be more emotionally detrimental to you and your children All information is public |
Parties lose their attorneys if they do not settle |